Gettin' By- An Apology To Everyone

I'm doing the best I can. Really.

If you don't get every single thing you want for Christmas. I'm sorry, I don't have money coming out of my ass.

If I get pissed because you borrow my tools and don't return them, I'm sorry. I just wanted to know where the fuck they were.

If I give you extraordinarily bad advice about your marriage, I'm sorry. I'm clearly bitter and small and not the one to ask right now.

If my house is a fucking mess because I was too tired to vacuum up the dog hair, I'm sorry. I had to go to my yoga class so my ass will stop falling.

If I didn't call you back, didn't respond to your request, didn't pack the kids' swim suits, didn't take you for a walk, didn't make sure my checking account wasn't overdrawn, didn't listen while you were talking, didn't make you a USDA approved and perfectly balanced dinner, didn't supervise every scrap of homework and generally micro-manage everyone, every minute of every goddamn day-

I'm sorry.

I'm doing the best I can.