Les Bon Mots

I used to rely on the words, their fixed blackness standing out on the stark white screen somehow made them immutable and permanent and meaningful. They are powerful, they are real. But they are only WORDS. Words without actions are gossamer thread, pretty and useless.

I used to rely on my guts, my emotional reaction, my deep understanding, my outward expression of love. And that my transparency would make me understood and make everything else right. But I have exposed myself forever, the heart on my sleeve served only to induce others to target practice. And some of you were a pretty good fucking shot, weren't you?

I used to think that being honest with everyone was the way fix everything, let's talk about and get to the bottom of it...but, but...I never got up from the bottom.

So....now I still have words, they are amazing and amusing, and they remain on the page. They may move me but only to reply.

And I still have my truth, it's inaccurate and occasionally bitter, but it's mine.

And I will share my love, but only with you who know my heart, because you ask, because you DO, because you will call me and make sure I'm still alive. I will only love the ones who love me back.

And you all know who you are.